MARINAvsWriting

Is there any way to write something here that isn't going to sound ridiculous?

Category: Comedy

Homecoming

I was your typical miserable teenager. So when I stumbled upon a diary from 2002 I couldn’t help but recoil in fear of what my twisted young mind emptied out on to those pages.

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Top Down, Windows Up

Jason expectedly died earlier in the day and I was furious with myself for crying so much. I could tell my tears were making Allen nervous. I wish it were more socially appropriate to carry on a conversation while crying. Read the rest of this entry »

Yes Smoking!

I am leaning out the window of my childhood bedroom. My hips are propped on the frame and my left hand is planted on the garage roof below. My right hand is holding a cigarette. I know that at any moment my mother may burst in and catch me smoking. If she does, she’ll probably slam the window shut; trapping my upper half outside and leaving my lower half exposed for a good ol’ fashioned spanking. But that’s just the risk I’ll have to take right now.

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Four Jokes and A Funeral

My least favorite time was when two men were performing sexual favors on each other. What they were doing didn’t bother me as much as the fact that they weren’t listening to me. They were in a dark corner at the back of the room, making sure third base was thoroughly satisfied before they’d leave the bar to hit that home run we all so desperately crave.

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Stand Up, Taipei!

Some friends and family have been asking what it’s like to tell jokes in Taiwan. Here ya go! Read the rest of this entry »

An Open Letter to the Man who yelled “Show your vagina!”

Dear Mr. Heckler,

I first would like to apologize for not succumbing to your requests. As a comedienne and entertainer, it is my priority that every one who sees me perform – whether by choice or not – enjoy themselves as much as possible.

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Huffing And Puffing

I was a pretty average teenager; I wrote a lot of poetry and hated my dad. Do you need any more proof? That’s why I never had much of an interest revisiting the place where my misery manifested itself: Deerfield High School.

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Get up, Stand-up

Three things happened after my debut on Broadway:

  1. I cried because I had been 1 minute over my time limit.
  2. Jesus told me I would become famous.
  3. Judah Friedlander fist bumped me.

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