Thanks for promising to “write later when sad”. I am glad you decided not to wear your skirt above your nipples but wish you had skipped the cornrows or “corn rolls” as you put it. Honestly, they may have not been that egregious had you elected to opt out of putting on three (uneven) coats of self-tanner. I’m pretty sure you’re exhibiting the Jewish version of black face right now.
Well anyway, you realize you’re not the Caribbean Queen you thought you were and eventually decide to embrace the fact that you are a pale, Russian-Jew.
P.S. Look how nicely the dragon on Boris’ sleeve matches Zoya’s green hair!