Give me a word, any word
by marinashifrin
If I’m ever on the cover of a magazine I’d request to get my armpits airbrushed, my left breast photoshopped so it’s even with my right and I’d possibly get some adult acne removed. But I know, for a fact, I would never want my words to be photoshopped.
Unfortunately, the words inside the pages of magazines are just as touched-up as the women on their covers. According to the kind, patient and intelligent editors at I’m-too-much-of-a-puss-to-name magazine, my writing was a little “too real” when I sent in the first draft of an essay they commissioned from me. I guess advising new mothers to give up their kids to truly pursue their dream job is a little much.
Magazines used to be so sexy to me. Now they’ve been replaced with books. I guess I am attracted to older, thicker forms of storytelling. An author’s sole responsibility is to believe in what she writes and stand behind it once it’s published. Secondary responsibilities include: being narcissistic and insecure, making poor life decisions, and complaining about how difficult writing is — get over yourself, me. Sure there are editors for books too, but they work for you, not visa versa. Yes, being a novelist is as cool as it is pretentious but when you’re in a league with Sedaris, Plath and Tolstoy who gives a fuck?
Books were always in my life-plan but they became more of a possibility a year ago. Last year 1,515 words and a man named Daniel Jones changed my life. Dan published an essay I wrote in a publication called the New York Times. The night it was published an old writing teacher gchatted me and said, “Now, you can tell anyone you meet that you’re a writer.” That’s what I started doing (though I still have trouble believing it). That night, I became a writer. Agents, magazine editors and film execs all reached out. They wanted to work with me, with my ideas and with my words. I did what any 25-year-old who has just opened all of the doors to her hopes and dreams would do: I climbed out a window and ran as far away from the risk of failure as possible.
A series of events has led me back to the open doors. It pleases me to say I have been given the opportunity to write a book. Don’t get excited. Anyone with a pen has the opportunity to write a book. But luckily for me, I’ve received the encouragement and funding I need to put together a bunch of pages (kindle files?) with my silly stories. Now, I just need one more thing from you, my dedicated friends, family and reader.
I am taking a page out of improv’s manual and asking the audience for a word. Maybe not a word, as much as a theme. Some examples (stolen from The Moth) include: Climbers, Regret, Do-Over, Only In Brooklyn, Blood, Sweat & Tears, Time, Out On A Limb, and the list goes on. I want to write each chapter based on the theme/word you gift to me. Don’t feel pressure. If this doesn’t work I’ll probably delete this post out of shame and embarrassment. We’ll all forget it ever happened. But if the blog-comment gods (AKA you people) smile upon me with a grand amount of themes, then I’ll pick an arbitrary number of chapters and randomly draw suggestions out of a helmet (I don’t have hats because I don’t feel hip enough to pull them off) and use those. Maybe I’ll film it so naysayers will believe me when the book is on the New York Time’s bestsellers list. HA HA. A GURL CAN DREAM, RIGHT?! Okay, sorry. That was so unprofessional. None of that nonsense will be in my book.
You essentially get to decide on a chapter title. How cool is that!? Maybe I’ll put your name under the title so you could be a writer too. That’d be neat. What I am saying is if you, my people, help me get started then maybe I won’t climb out the window this time.
Get creative, challenge me, leave me your chapter titles. On your mark, get set, go:
Lathrop for Life!
Obviously I’d have to write about Lathrop. Good call, Mere!
I would love to see a chapter called “My relationship with meat.”
I am up for the challenge, Ian! I am both mad and excited about how that story might turn out.
Marina, what a great idea, so I would like to recommend a chapter:
Love found, lost, and remembered.
Best of luck with the words, let me know If I can assist any further.
Danwedge thanks for the premise and the offer to help! I may just take you up on it if the going gets tough.
Here is my contribution: nail biting.
I like it, Luis. Thanks so much for leaving your comment.
Epiphany.
Great word. I haven’t heard it in a while. You’ve got my wheels turning.
I think “Airbrushed Armpits” is a chapter title!
Haha, I doubt I’ll ever use that phrase again. Isn’t it a good one, though, huh?
Although I guess that chapter title should wait for your second book since your magazine cover photos will appear after your first novel is published and becomes a Times best seller!
How about “Co-worker of the Month, January 2012” as a chapter title? 😉
Rich
Why L.A. is better than NYC. (Or vice-versa)
Ah, I’ve been planning on writing up the difference. This is a good one. Professor K! Can it be shortened to LA vs NYC?
Can you give a clue about the type/theme of the book? Fiction / non-fiction, your life / someone else’s life, a book designed to help people, a book retelling previous experience each with a message? (thanks 🙂
Second to last place
L-word.
I love this idea Marina! I’m not much of a writer… or reader. I also don’t know many writers… so its an honor to contribute. Some great titles could be based from a thought, so like a chapter could be: Struggle, Hope, Future, Lessons, Time, Journey, Youth, Experience… or any combination of these, like Struggles and Youth or Journey and Hope. So, like I learned in the Marine Corps, KISS (keep it short and simple, though the other variation is just as funny!)
This would be a great kickstarter, but your sponsors may not be too fond of outside funding… Best of luck!!
Haha, well my sponsors is really just my savings account so I think they’d be all about outside funding. A kickstarter is a great idea! I just feel so embarrassed asking for money. Love the selection of themes, Jonathan! Thanks for the awesome input.
You should never feel embarrassment for something you’re passionate about (otherwise I should feel that way for my entire life so far). There is no doubt you will one day reach the point that everyone knows you will obtain. I would support your kickstarter, as I know many other readers would as well. And you’ve earned as much support as we can all muster for any other author, illustrator, editor, or imaginative conceptual person. You’ve won our hearts more so than any other and you NEED to accept that now… and use it to obtain your dreams Marina 🙂 We’ve got your back!
The truth about little Jewish mothers….
Man oh man. That could be a whole book.
My suggestion: “Daughter of the Mechanical Universe”. It would be a sci fi short story about what its like to be a human female in an inorganic universe made of machines. Or something, I’m not very good at this.
No, I like it! Definitely outside the box. I have no experience in writing Scifi so I may bend the rules a little but I love the challenge.
“If only I…”
“Failure” has to be one, right? Or you can be real edgy and make it “недостаточность” (thank you, Google Translate), so people are all like “what?” and you are like “read a book, idiot” and it’s funny because there they are, reading your book! And then you can talk about Russian stuff too.
That is a GREAT idea!! “Неудача” might fit better though =) like failure, but more in a bad luck sense, you know?
I did not know, but I LIKE it!
I forgot to mention the book is going to be in all Russian. Duh. Failure!? But then people will know I am not as perfect as I say I am.
Can I ❤ this comment?
I love this! My topic – First impressions 🙂
Amanda you’re obviously a pro at topic-givings. I already have ideas for this one.
Volga
Gotta love Volga, Bro.
Journalism
Dorm Life
Hair
Rock Bottom
Taking Chances
The Best Meal I Ever Had
Lindsay, Solid suggestions. I need to get some of my PA/CA stories out into the world.
Really, any RA could probably write an entire book about the experience haha
A chapter titled, I Love Us!
L4L! I haven’t said that in forever. Reunion soon?
Whiskey with a pickle back
What if I write the whole chapter while doing pickleback shots?
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I am in love with this word. It has so many layers.
You’re not making this easy on me, huh?
Be careful what you asking for …
Why did you do that? (And other questions I constantly ask myself)
When in Rome…
“Everybody leaves”
Life
You are an expert in ” I quit this job” and know how to do it was grace and panache. A chapter is warranted.
Lewis
Tuesdays and pink things
Great combination. Thanks Patricia!
“One wooden toy”
“My African- American Uncle”
Usually I dont do this… (Because I’m usually not a groupie, lol) but, you seem so cool, and I like helping cool people. Personally I like your sense of humor, and I think your cool. You’ll probably do great by simply writing about your perspective. (On things like relationships, friendships, jobs, fantasies, etc…)
Where were you when I was in middle school? You seem pretty cool too! I appreciate the nice words…it makes me want to keep writing.
To be literal… I was probably getting in trouble somewhere near 8-9th grade, in Westchester NY, And I would have told you the same then. “Do You!” That’s when we’re at our best. And, if you think about it… If Queen Latifa (a former hip hop Star) thought you were cool enough to put you on her staff… That means I can’t be the only person who thinks your cool. 😉
Thank you, and your welcome. I try to be a good advice giver to all my friends, Family, peoplez, etc… Lol… Anyways if u ever need a cool person to talk to, I’m a Pro Boxer so I have a lot of time on my hands…(ish) you can free to hit me up on FB, or something directly I’ll be happy to give u my opinion on any of your written work, or whatever. My real name is Lekan (Leh-Khan) (and My FB page has me with my hands up after my last fight)
Oh, it’s like I’m at UCB! Uhh, how about “Breakfast?”
Bryan! Nailed it! I was at UCB last week when I got the idea. Breakfast is perfect.
Rom-Com
Oh brother, I may have to save that chapter for when I write a mooooovvviiieeee.
Raised on Vodka (and other stories)?
How about FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:fwd: Raised on Vodka (and other stories).
“Putin’s Hooter’s”…….Or where are we riding on horseback? A picture’s worth a thousand words Marina!
Haha Putin’s Hooter’s. It sounds like the saddest, droopiest, nudie bar ever.
Don’t eat your feelings, or other things I wish I’d known since puberty
“Fool me three times” a chapter on repeated mistakes 🙂
Love it, Katie! It’s nice to have a fellow writer help with solid ideas.
Aw, anytime!
I vote for this one too!!
Anxiety and you
Haha I actually had an agent suggest this too (a book on hypochondria). Maybe it will be part self help book with out the help part.
Your word for the day is “Trivial”
Yes, sir! I am on it.
Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Carlos, this is adorable. I don’t know why but that line warms my heart.
Three words actually: Disconnect, Audacity & Epilogue…choose your favourite..
Solid words, Gaurav! It’s going to be hard to choose. Maybe I’ll just throw all of them into my helmet!
What makes your “copperosity sagatiate?” Or “how is your copperosity sagatiating today?” (genuine archaic expression).
I think you got me there, Pam. I may need to make a rule that if I can’t pronounce it, I can’t write about it. Excuse me while I research copperosity.
My grandpa and father used to use these expressions. I thought it was made up words (still ingrained in my brain) until I heard it many years later on a rerun of a Shirley Temple movie where somebody said it. So I started looking it up when google was just a baby, and I found the site below. It is pronounced copper OSS it tee suh GASH ee ate.
http://www.copperosity.com/home/index.htm
Hey lady! I love reading your blog 🙂 Just left dinner with Lauren…wish you were there.
One of my favorite words is “myriad.” Do with that what you wish!! Xoxoxo
Ps- have you been in touch with my friend Kevin yet?!
Have you thought about a title for your book? I love that your initials are Marina VS so all your URL’s could be “Marina Versus..” whatever you are taking on, or, you could adopt a pen name of “Marina V” and everything would be “Marina V’s” and your last name is a secret.
Old people are bad Or Only the good die young
Why going speed dating if you can date me
and:
Being a professional ballet dancer is not easy.
“In Which Major Plot Points Are Revealed”
SInce I don’t know what i don’t know, what do I need to know?
Kevin?
“Red Wine Stains” in honor of the shenanigans that went down living with Christy or “Clown Ninjas” inspired from a quote I read from The Mind Unleashed: Women want a man that makes then laugh and makes them feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
If I were Putin for a day…
Going viral and instant fame! Newbie here on your blog.
“Dancing with myself”
Zapoy…..(Russian to English spelling is not my forte)
Foreign
Honey badger moments
Nothing a burrito can’t fix
Whoops
Saying goodbye for the last time……
I used it as the tag line for a post all about how ~ It is funny saying goodbye to someone you know you will probably never see again….
The things we carry.
Word
I wish I had’nt gone to bed with her