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Comedy

An Open Letter to the Man who yelled “Show your vagina!”

Dear Mr. Heckler,

I first would like to apologize for not succumbing to your requests. As a comedienne and entertainer, it is my priority that every one who sees me perform – whether by choice or not – enjoy themselves as much as possible.

Not only do I hope the audience has a good time, but I strive for a memorable performance. I want to make you laugh. Maybe even help forget the fact you are spending your Thursday night pounding back $1 PBRs while getting rejected by moderately attractive women.

When you yelled out “Show your vagina!” in the middle of my set, I had to make a conscious decision. And I made the conscious decision NOT to show my lady-parts as you so impolitely (no please?) requested. Once again, I apologize.

You were probably trying to make your friend Dirk, Chaz – or some other poorly thrown together moniker – laugh, but you completely missed the irony of your request. While you were drunkenly minimizing me to a body part, one which every woman and a few men (it is, after all the 21st century) have, you totally didn’t see what I was actually showing you.

I don’t know if you noticed, but I am a comedian, a female comedian. What I do while you are drinking to forget your problems, is openly talk about mine. I explore deeply personal fears, ambitions and observations, looking for validation through your laughter. I mess up, I get scared and I cry. I fail, a lot. And I quit, a lot. I also come back.

So Mr. Heckler, while you did get a high-five after your request to see an intimate, private part of me, you missed out on the fact that you were seeing a part of me that was intimately private.

Sincerely,

Marina V. Shifrin

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6 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Man who yelled “Show your vagina!”

  1. frankie says:

    Marina – well done. You may not have shown your “lady part” but you did show your class…and it sounds like this guy could have used a little extra. Don’t worry…you’ve got plenty to share.- Besides, your response is much better than what mine may have been “Okay…but show me yours first….Oh, that’s right, you don’t have access to one…that’s why you’re here!” – Frankie from Mizzou

    • Frankie Thanks! Actually the only thing I could think of at that moment was”I would but I got it replaced…with an eye!” After both shutting up the heckler and creeping out every single patron at the bar, I decided to try a more eloquent round 2. I need to work on my crowd work huh?

  2. Pingback: Pot & Condoms « MARINAvsWriting

  3. I regret I will never receive that heckle, for I am male. However, should I receive that heckle, I would deal with it this way:

    “Ladies and gentleman, I have received a request to show my vagina. And I would like to do just that.”

    Walk over to the audience member who called it out.

    Ladies and gentlemen, this man is a vagina. Not just any vagina. My vagina. But I tend to consider him more of a c*nt.”

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